When We Were Young

1. Santa Clause, The Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny were ALL real...and if ANY of our friends who already knew tried to argue with us, we either fought back, or just ignored them.
2. Babies didn't necessarily come from the stork, but the definitely didn't come from intercourse. The also were birthed out of belly buttons.
3. We would not eat our vegetables unless promised dessert.
4. Girls: Chasing boys was fun.
5. Hand games were our favorite pastime.
6. The Disney D was actually a backwards G (*Some of my friends didn't find that out until recently, actually...)
7. You were cool if you had a lunch box instead of brown paper bags.
8. If you picked your nose, a monster would bite your finger off.
9. If you swallowed your gum, you could die.
10. Getting your card pulled from green to yellow or red was the worst feeling ever.
11. What you brought in for show and tell proved how cool you were.
12. We always counted alligators at the drinking fountains.
13. The moon was actually a different form of the sun.
14. Playing the the mud and/or the sprinklers didn't even phase us. We didn't care about our hair or make-up.
15. If you had a trampoline-you were my best friend.
16. Singing in the mirror with a hairbrush was my life... wait. Nothing's changed!
17. You HAD to sit in the back of the bus.
18. On Valentines day, you had to give one of the special BIG valentines that came with the package to your crush... the other one went to your teacher.
19. An art set was on everyone's Christmas/ Hanukah list.
20. We looked forward to Pizza day ALL month.
21. Sleeping in on Saturday morning was out of the question. 'One Saturday Morning' was on... DUH!
22. Boy Meets World was the only adult-ish show we watched...and growing up that's all we thought high school / college was gonna be like.
23. You needed NOT ONE, but 4 or 5 giga-pets.
24. If you had five dollars, you were rich.
25. When you heard an ice cream truck, your ass was OUT the door.
26. Going on Summer and Winter break was sometimes sad, because you didn't get to see your friends at all... UNLESS you went to INTERCESSION!
27. You felt awesome singing weird songs like 'Stegosaurus" and "Balooga Whale"
28. Pogs.
28. You couldn't (and didn't really care that you couldn't) wear thong sandals, spaghetti straps, or halter tops.
29. Matching outfits? What does THAT mean?
30. You were amazing if you had kudos packed in your lunch.
31. Reading passages out loud revealed your 'true intelligence' to everyone.
32. ... and being in the Blue reading group confirmed that fact.
33. If someone other than your parents or the bus picked you up from school, you felt like a million dollars.
34. Learning about indians in 3rd grade was SO LAME at the time...but in retrospect, you realize you did SO many cool amazing projects--like making drums and drawing hieroglyphics on them!
35. Hearing the recess bell gave you the happiest feeling you got all day.
36. Your Mom and/or Dad woke you up AND made your breakfast for you.
37. If you knew how to color inside the lines, it meant you were smart.
38. Going to the library was exciting and fun... especially on the random days you got to play bingo.
39. Getting to play Oregon Trail WAS. THE. SHIZ.
40. It was your dream to win the macaroni and cheese commercial contest.

Integrity Truly is Everything

So this past weekend, I had the most amazing time.. Along the way, I compromised not only my integrity, but also the way I look to the other people around me.. And all I have to show for it is a really bad hangover and the same relationship, a little stronger, with the guy that I really like.. Heck, I'll even say it, I think I love him..

I seriously compromised my relationship with someone that means the world to me, my biggest influence.. That, my own actions, has hurt me so much.. And now I have to try to regain her trust in me, and I don't even know how.. I don't even think I deserve it.. I don't deserve her in my life, I don't deserve to have her think so highly in me..

I'm a liar, I break promises, I go back on my word for a boy I don't even know likes me or knows I exist..

I got drunk, I probably made a mockery of myself and of the one that means the world to me, and for what?? A BOY?!?!?! Someone that I like?!?!

The only person I deserve in my life is myself.. I don't deserve any of the people that are in my life.. They are all so good to me.. I...I...I don't know what to do anymore..